Yen a kelkes bien sympas et d’autres que je comprend pas 
A punk with a rainbow-colored mohawk sits down on a bench next to an old man. After awhile, he notices the old man is staring at him. « What’s wrong, old timer? » asks the punk, « Never done anything wild in your life? » « Actually, » says the geezer, « One time I screwed a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son. »
Q: What’s the difference between an Emo kid and a dead baby?
A: The baby doesn’t cry.
Q: Why do anarchists drink horrible tea?
A: Because proper tea is theft.
Q: Why did crass brake up?
A: They lost their stencil.
Q: How many punk kids does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, one to change it and 9 to say they did it first.
Q:What’s 500ft long and dosent have pubic hair?
A: A ticket line to a Dashboard Confessional concert.
Q: How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to drop it, and 5 to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up!
Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they’d rather sit and cry about the dark.
Q: How many squatters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, cus they have no electricity.
Q: What do you call an emo kid outside the mall?
A: Anything he’ll cry no matter what you do.
A punk and a hippie are walking down the street and the hippie says" so what is punk anyway?"
The punk kicks over a garbage can and says « THATS PUNK!! »
The hippie walks over and kicks another trash can over and says « now am i a punk » and the punk says « no now your a poser! »
Q: How do bonehead skins lace up their boots?
A: In little Nazi’s
Q: What’s the worst thing about 4 nazis in a honda civic driving off a cliff?
A: the car holds 5
Q: What does a jewish skin say?
A: Oi-vey
Q: How do you know if you’re in a punk bar?
A: If you start drinking beer, then move on to vodka and the bartender calls you a sellout.
Punk: knock knock.
Random person: Who’s there?
Punk: Fuck.
RP: Fuck who?
Punk: Fuck you!
Q: What do you call a punk hitchhiker?
A: Stranded.
Q: What do you call a punk without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless.
Q: If there is a punk and a skinhead in the back of a car, who is in the front?
A: A cop.
Q: How many voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None: voting can’t change a thing.
Q: How many straight-edgers does it take to drink a case of beer?
A: One, if no one’s looking.
Q: What’s the difference between a cop car and a porcupine?
A: A porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to do it and four to write a zine about it.
Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Ten: One to screw it in and nine to watch his back.
Q: How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to do it and one to film it.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Twenty: One to screw it in and nineteen to call him a sellout
Q: How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five: One to change it and four to pass out lyrics.
Q: How do you get a gutter punk out of the bathtub?
A: Turn on the water.
Q: How many punks does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four: One to stand on the chair to screw it in, one to kick the chair out from under him, one to say how punk rock that was, and the fourth to say, “Shut the fuck up Mike!”
Q: What has eight arms and kills its girlfriend?
A: Squid Vicious.
Q: What has eight arms and still can’t play bass worth shit?
A: Squid Vicious.
Q: How many straight-edgers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they don’t screw.
Q: What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A: A drummer.
Q: What is the difference between a fascist and a trampoline?
A: You take your boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Q: Why are cops buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet?
A: Because deep down they are really good people.
Q: An apartment building in California has skins living on the first floor, punks on the second floor, and hippies on the third. One day a big fire burns the building to the ground. Who survived?
A: The skins. They were at work.
Q: What do you call a bunch of racist skinheads at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.
Q: How do you get a one-armed punk out of a tree?
A: Throw him a beer.
Q: How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they only screw in a puddle of vomit.
If you came upon a cop struggling in a raging river, and you had a choice between rescuing him, or taking a Pulitzer-prize-winning photograph; what shutter speed would you use?
A punk, a mod, and a skin walk into a bar. The bartender hands them each a beer with a fly in it. The mod turns the beer away. the punk drinks the beer despite the fly, and the skinhead grabs the fly by the wings and yells « Spit it out! Spit it out, you bastard! »
